Why are you hiding behind these excuses? Why do you not want to face your own feelings and everyday thoughts? What are you trying to protect yourself from?
What do you think would happen if you face these feelings and emotions, these thoughts? Do you think you would shatter? Or is it just an irrational, subconscious fear?
I can go on with many more of such questions. And push you to take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Make you admit your fears and flaws.
But for once, i won’t make you, i won’t push you to even write about it.It has to come from within you.
Whether or not you look in the mirror at yourself, these feelings and emotions that you’re trying to hide from by watching series and playing games — they’re not going anywhere. They will keep lurking around that corner of your heart till you face them, till you feel them and be with them.
All i can tell you is that facing these emotions and feelings won’t break you, it may bend you a bit — but you are resilient enough.
Why do you judge yourself too harshly? For things you did or didn’t do? Your actions do not make you who you are. Your actions may make you feel guilty, ashamed, angry or any of those negative emotions. Coz if you were taught otherwise, if you were made to learn that your actions define your worthiness or unworthiness — it was a very wrong lesson and those people, from whom you learned, didn’t know this themselves.
Why not try to be kind to yourself? Why not try forgiving yourself for judging yourself too harshly? For not being kind?
Why not allow yourself to feel and face those feelings and thoughts? Facing them won’t make you a bad person. Hating something doesn’t make you a bad person.
The future seems so bleak. Uncertain. But when was the last time you decorated it with your dreams? Yes, these dreams seem so far away, almost unreal. But what lightens up that dark sky at night? Those far away twinkling stars — bcoz they give us hope (and also bcoz they are beautiful and cute!).
So why don’t you decorate your desolate future with some hopeful dreams? Don’t let the cobwebs of assumptions — of how your life will turn out, what is going to happen — gather. Keep clearing them out. You are not a predictor, so do not predict your own life.
Let life surprise you.
It’s okay. It’s okay..
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